Friend Zone

So hopefully by now you've had a chance to read Rossetti's poem, "No, Thank You, John." In case you're not already on board, let me tell you about why Rossetti putting this John character into the friend zone was so awesome:

1. John was trying to put her in a box. 

Remember that "angel in the house" stereotype we talked about? Well, John assumed that the narrator would be the submissive, perfect woman who would automatically and energetically accept his proposal. Then, when she started to show a little independence, he tried to label her as a "fallen woman." He accused her of "having no heart" and being "false." (see lines 13 and 18) But to make her even more awesome, she found a way to put him in his place while still being graceful.

2. Saying "no" to marriage proposals wasn't the popular thing to do...

... at least not on the grounds of not feeling the same way. Sure, women of the Victorian Era rejected suitors when they were of questionable character or had done something to offend (which we know John didn't, because the narrator talks about the good times that they've had). Most Victorian marriages were more for economic gain than for romance, despite the Jane Austen-y image you might have in your head. So really, if John had a suitable character and was economically stable, the narrator should have accepted him, according to the norms of society.

3. She was open-minded

Like we've mentioned before, Christina Rossetti was no gung-ho feminist. However, this poem subtly promoted equality between the genders when that wasn't the norm. The narrator in the poem doesn't want to be John's lover, but she also doesn't want to be his enemy: she just wants to be his friend. On a deeper level, the narrator is also saying that she doesn't want to be an angel in the house, but she also doesn't want to be fallen: she wants to be somewhere in the middle. Rossetti was challenging the narrow-mindedness that populated the minds of so many in the early Victorian Era.


If that doesn't convince you, you should check your calendar, because you might be living in the wrong century. :)